Pouring From an Empty Cup?

Have you ever heard the phrase: ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’? This bit of wisdom was unknown to me until about six years ago.

There I was, buried under an avalanche of tasks. Alone in the office. The rest of the team had shuffled-off home, long before me. I remained, as usual, clinging to the last precious hours of the day. Work had consumed so much of me.

But my personal life at the time, with its own complexities, felt just as demanding. A steadfast employee. A supportive daughter. A committed partner. A present friend – I was so engrossed in all of my obligations that I was neglecting myself. I didn’t realise I was teetering on the precipice of total burnout.

It was on one of those late evenings that our office cleaner, Sadie, perhaps noticing my weary state, shared this simple yet profound adage. It was a lightbulb moment. Those words resonated deeply, offering a much-needed wake-up call. Sometimes, a visual cue is all we need.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

It’s astonishing how we often find ourselves spinning multiple plates – work, family, friends – and yet, the thought of pausing for a breath seems almost indulgent, a luxury we tell ourselves we can’t afford.

But the reality is this: perpetually putting others’ needs before our own is like driving with the oil light on. Sure, you might make it from A to B, but at what cost to your engine? Persistent neglect of our well-being can lead us down a grim path of exhaustion, depression or anxiety.

Luckily, the journey to replenishing our reserves is less daunting than it seems. So, if you’re running on the last dregs of energy, let’s explore how to start refilling that cup, shall we?

What does an ’empty cup’ really mean?

Picture your energy and emotional well-being as a cup. Every time you handle a stressful situation, make a decision, or support someone else, it’s like you’re pouring out a little of what’s inside.

The problem arises when we keep pouring without taking the time to refill. This can leave us feeling drained, snappy and unable to give our best to the things and people we care about.

Burnout: A snowball effect

The thing about burnout is it sneaks up on you; getting worse bit by bit when we keep putting ourselves last. Even a little bit of tiredness now and then can turn into a big problem if we don’t nip it in the bud.

It’s a catch-22, isn’t it? The busier you get, the more crucial it becomes to carve out some personal time. Sure, when your calendar is overflowing, it feels like you don’t have a spare minute for self-care. But that’s precisely the moment when you need to put yourself first and create that time.

The art of self-care: It’s not selfish, it’s essential

Think of the last time your phone hit that dreaded low battery bar. You wouldn’t dream of running it until it dies; you’d recharge it. We need to start treating ourselves with the same care. Taking time for self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. It’s about making sure we’re in good shape to enjoy life and be there for others.

Everyday Strategies for Filling Your Cup

Take five

Literally, just five minutes. Step away from whatever you’re doing for a quick breather. Maybe it’s a short walk, a cup of tea, or just sitting quietly. These little breaks can be surprisingly refreshing.

Learn to say no (firmly but politely)

It’s okay to set boundaries. You can’t do everything for everyone all the time. It’s not only okay to say no; sometimes, it’s the healthiest choice. This is a big development area for many, so set time aside to learn more strategies and practise with lower risk situations to build your confidence.

Hobby time

What’s that thing you love doing but never have time for? Reading? Painting? Dancing in your kitchen? Make time for it. It’s not frivolous; it’s fuel for your soul. In the words of Mary Oliver: “Joy is not made to be a crumb.”

Green therapy

Spend time with Mother Nature. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike, or just sitting under a tree, nature has a way of soothing the mind and spirit.

Chat it out

Sometimes, the best way to lighten your load is to share it. Talk to friends, family, or a therapist. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to handle everything by yourself.

Making self-care a habit, not a chore

Start small. Maybe it’s ten minutes of meditation in the morning or a walk during your lunch break. The key is consistency. Even the smallest act of self-care can make a big difference over time.

The Magic of a Full Cup

When you take the time to care for yourself, it shows. You’re happier, more balanced, and more present in your relationships and responsibilities. Filling your cup is about giving yourself the strength to live your best life and, in turn, enrich the lives of those around you.

Refilling your cup isn’t a one-off thing either. It’s about ongoing, small acts of kindness towards yourself. It’s recognising when you’re running low and knowing it’s okay to take a step back and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”.

So, the next time you’re feeling stretched too thin, remember: your cup needs attention too. Take that break, do something you love, and watch how much fuller life feels when your cup is brimming over.

If you’re feeling inspired to create more time for you and learn more strategies, check out our Emotional Intelligence courses.