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Time to Talk: Finding Light in the Middle of It All

Two women chatting with hot drinks, sat on blue velvet chairs. One woman is wearing an orange scarf and brown cardigan, the other is wearing a light coloured beige cardigan. Both are smiling and laughing.

Mental health isn’t one neat story with a beginning, middle and end. It’s messy. Layered. Ever-changing. And deeply personal.

On Time to Talk Day, coming up on the 5th February, we’re encouraged to start conversations – not to “fix” everything, but to remind each other that we’re not alone. That speaking up matters. That being heard can be the first step towards healing.

This is my story. Not because it’s unique – but because it isn’t.

Before the Words Came the Weight

My journey with mental health didn’t arrive all at once. It crept in quietly, over time, through life, work, motherhood, and experiences I didn’t fully process when they happened.

Before having my second child, I struggled with anxiety. A lot of it.
Work pressures, the mental load of motherhood, and past health experiences within my family – including my niece – all layered themselves together until my nervous system was permanently on edge.

I reached a point where I needed support, and CBT therapy became a turning point for me. It helped me understand my thinking patterns, my triggers, and how deeply stress had embedded itself into my everyday life. It didn’t “cure” me – but it gave me tools. And sometimes, tools are everything.

A woman, sitting on a brown couch, wearing a dark green top and mustard coloured trousers leaning forward with tissue pressed to her eye as a psychologist consoles her. He has his hand on her shoulder and is wearing glasses, a dark brown t-shirt and jacket, grey trousers and is sitting on a green chair

Motherhood: Beautiful, Overwhelming, Relentless

Becoming a mother is one of the most joyful experiences of my life.

It’s also one of the hardest.

The ups and downs of parenting, the constant responsibility, the juggling act of work and family life – it all adds up. Stress becomes normalised. Exhaustion becomes expected. You tell yourself, ‘this is just life now’.

But stress doesn’t always stay in your head.

For me, it started showing up physically. Extreme anxiety. Constant nausea. Stomach pain that felt never-ending. Then came the crippling migraines – the kind that stop you in your tracks and make the world feel impossibly loud.

Eventually, I was diagnosed with a potential Cavernoma; a non-cancerous cluster of abnormal, leaky blood vessels, often looking like a raspberry, typically found in the brain or spinal cord, that can cause seizures, headaches, stroke, or neurological issues like numbness or vision problems due to bleeding or pressure on brain tissue.

The doctor’s response?

“There’s nothing we can do. Just go live your life.”

Right. Great. Thanks for that.

I laugh about it now – because sometimes humour is the only way through – but moments like that force you to sit with your own vulnerability. Your own mortality. Your own fear.

When Mental Health Becomes Physical

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that mental and physical health are inseparable.
Stress doesn’t politely stay in one lane. Anxiety doesn’t always announce itself with racing thoughts – sometimes it shows up as pain, sickness, fatigue, or symptoms you can’t ignore anymore.

Mental health is a huge spectrum, influenced by so many moving parts: work, relationships, trauma, parenting, hormones, health scares, finances, sleep (or lack of it). It’s never just one thing.

And that’s why talking matters.

Why Talking Helps (Even When It’s Hard)

For a long time, I carried things quietly. I told myself I should be coping better. That everyone else seemed to manage just fine. That my feelings weren’t serious enough to take up space.

But the moment I started talking – really talking – things shifted.

Talking didn’t make everything disappear.
But it made things lighter.
It reminded me I wasn’t weak.
It reminded me I wasn’t alone.

Things That Have Helped Me (And Still Do)

Everyone’s journey is different, but here are a few things that have supported me along the way:

Therapy – CBT helped me understand my thoughts instead of being ruled by them
Saying it out loud – to friends, family, my husband
Humour – because sometimes laughing is survival
Boundaries – learning when to slow down (still a work in progress)
Perspective – focusing on what truly matters
Kindness to myself – on the days when “doing my best” looks very small

Most importantly, I stopped trying to “push through” everything alone.

A woman in a yellow jumper sat on a grey couch smiling at another woman who has her back to the camera, wearing a pale green jumper and holding a pen in her hand.

Finding Joy Without Erasing the Hard Stuff

I wouldn’t change any of it. Truly.

Every anxious moment, every health scare, every hard conversation has shaped who I am today. It’s given me insight, empathy, and a deeper understanding of balance – work, life, parenting, rest.

I’ve found joy alongside the struggle.
I’ve learned how resilient I am.
I’ve learned that asking for help is strength, not failure.

And I’ve learned that a “happy mind” doesn’t mean a perfect one – it means a supported one.

Time to Talk

On this Time to Talk Day, let’s keep the conversation open.
Not just when things are unbearable – but before we reach that point.

Check in on each other.
Speak honestly.
Listen without fixing.
And remember: whatever you’re carrying, you don’t have to carry it alone.

Talking doesn’t change everything – but it can change something.
And sometimes, that’s enough to keep going.

If You’d Like to Talk or Need Support

If anything in this blog has resonated with you, or if you’re struggling with your mental health, you’re not alone – and support is available:

Mind – Advice, information and support for mental health
👉 www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans – 24/7 emotional support for anyone who needs to talk
📞 116 123
👉 www.samaritans.org
Shout – Free, confidential 24/7 text support
📱 Text SHOUT to 85258
👉 www.giveusashout.org
Anxiety UK – Specialist support for anxiety and related conditions
👉 www.anxietyuk.org.uk
SANE – Emotional support and information for mental health
📞 0300 304 7000
👉 www.sane.org.uk
Hub of Hope – Find local mental health support services near you
👉 www.hubofhope.co.uk